Someone left a bag of feces on my doorstep once.

It was Halloween and they rang the bell but when I got there, they were gone.

But they left their feces bag!

They must've forgotten it.

I put it in my garden but it didn't help any of my plants.

I think because it came from a person.



allison said...

You are never gonna believe what just happened to me, girl. I was checkin my mascara in one of the fish tanks when all of a sudden I felt this tiny pinch on the edge of my panty band. I looked around, pushed my slacks down to my ankles and saw somethin’ crawlin’ on me. It was a Black Widow Spider!

So I flicked it on the ground and get this, it was a half-flattened licorice jelly bean. So there I was, laughin’ with my comfort slacks around my ankles at the fish tanks at Target!
Classic Peg!
Then guess who runs into me? My Preacher from church! And guess what he said?

There's a turrgit in hervean!?

freya said...

Peg: So, I strained my neck…

Target Lady: How’d you do that, Girlfriend?

Peg: I was pushin’ a wash machine up a hill when my fashion sandal got caught on a decorative yard prick, is that just not classic Peg?

Target Lady: Classic Peg!

Peg: So then I tripped and tried to brace myself on the washer lid but I ended up breaking it off and fallin inside! I rolled all the way down the hill inside of it. I mean I was holdin’ on to the cup that holds the softener and my legs were clinched around the agitator pole, can you believe it? Is that not just classic Peg?

Target Lady: So Classic!

Peg: So the next thing I know, I’m peerin’ my head out of the machine, it’s eight in the morning and I’m behind the Dunky Donuts by the private airport. Claaaaaasic Peg!